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30 Ways to
Show Students You Care
Marty Kirschen turned to teaching after a career as a television executive. A teacher of children with autism in the Los Angeles area, Kirschen sees a direct connection between caring and competence. "When a child feels good, he or she learns much more easily," Kirschen said. Caring also helps children improve social and academic skills in a way that allows them to use those skills on their own in the future, he added.
"Where character education often deals with principles and telling children what they should be doing," Kirschen told Education World, "caring education first and foremost involves the teacher in 'being caring.'"
Marty Kirschen gave Education World permission to share a sampling of
his tips for creating a caring classroom.
1. Go out of your way to compliment a child who gets very few
strokes. Take more care to notice what is important to him or her.
2. Compliment the efforts, not just the successes: "That was
a good try on that puzzle; I see you really working hard."
3. Compliment children for being kind and courteous and be courteous
yourself: "Thanks for saying you're welcome."
4. When you see one child has a difficulty, address the subject
to the class as a whole: "Some of you may be having difficulty drawing
a fish. Who would like to share a good way for the class to see?"
5. Ask the child about something that you know is important to
him or her: "How was that Little League game you played last night?"
6. When you see a child is upset, take time to speak privately
with him or her. Learn what is going on. That action will be appreciated.
7. Give a reward or gift to children for no reason at all --
other than to show you love them: "Tomorrow, we all get a treat, a popcorn
party!"
8. Work on the placement of your desk so that when a child comes
up to speak to you, that child will be next to the chair and not across
from you.
9. A gesture that accommodates individual needs is appreciated.
For example, give extra time on a test to a child who is a very nervous
test taker.
10. Find a way to make a personal contact with parents and caregivers
as soon as possible after the start of the school year. Acknowledge the
importance of their role and something positive about each child.
11. Tell students what is new and good for you this morning.
Ask students to share the same.
12. When you make eye contact with a child during the day, smile!
There are so many non-verbal ways that you can show you care.
13. When ending a conversation, pause silently with the child
before turning away. A short pause while still looking at the child shows
that he or she is important and that you are not just rushing to the next
thing to do.
14. It is important to know how to deal with your own anger in
a physical way. For example, when you're feeling anger, take a deep breath,
count to ten, or find your own space.
15. Be aware of your own bias toward a child and go out of your
way to try to deal with the child fairly. You may not like tattoos, but
don't be unkind to a student because of his or her new tattoos.
16. When a child does something that is troubling or hostile,
it can be helpful to ask yourself and/or the child: "What's really going
on? What is happening behind what you are saying and the way you are saying
it?"
17. Identify some positive intent that exists, even in an action
that does not work out well: "I know you want to help your friend, but
giving him the answers on the test is a not a useful way."
18. Take note when you are starting to show continual disfavor
with a child. Often by trying to understand more what is going on with
the child, you can help yourself find a way to feel more positive.
19. Tell yourself that the student is doing something that annoys
you, but he or she isn't doing it to annoy you!
20. When listening to what a child has to say, turn your whole
body toward the child. In that way, you show that you are giving the child
your full attention.
21. Kneel next to the child to communicate with him or her. Speaking
from on high can be distancing; it can feel daunting to the child.
22. Find quiet time for reflection or relaxing after a more active
time. You might use a guided imagery activity or play music that allows
a mood to be set and calm to return.
23. Bring in stories of your own experiences that relate to what
you're teaching. "I know how frightening it was for Hansel and Gretel
to get lost in the woods. It happened to me one time!"
24. Allow your weaknesses to show -- this is very human: "I must
admit, I had trouble learning how to boil an egg, and my mom was a home
economics teacher!"
25. When pressed for time, communicate with your students later
in writing. Set up a special box where you put notes to hand to your students
at a later time.
26. Have a message center in the classroom where students can
give the teacher notes that can be read and responded to at a quiet time.
27. Be careful about invoking the "Golden Rule" too early in
solving a problem. That can bring about guilt or resentment. It may be
better to initially ask "How do you think she feels?" rather than "How
would you like it if she did that to you?"
28. Note when a child in the class is being "excluded" by others.
Give that child attention alone and with the class present.
29. Find a way to improve performance that looks for improvement
and not perfection: "Alfredo, show me that you are making an effort to
interrupt less -- by interrupting less."
30. When you notice a transgression, allow the child to see you
noticed without calling him or her on it. This often gives the child the
opportunity to appreciatively self-correct.
Gary Hopkins
Education World® Editor-in-Chief
Copyright © 2005 Education World
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Originally published 11/01/2000
Updated 08/25/2008
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